Posted by: Arun Pareek | June 21, 2009

A Fucked up Weekend

I woke up today in despair. Even though the usual morning hour saw my eyes wide open and embracing a new day i didnt feel like getting up. It was a Sunday still nothing effervescent about it. Felt bad for sure. The past makes things worse. I remembered how back some time we used to get up, gather and make plans for a perfect Sunday brunch, the movies, the evening adda and the nightouts. Yea we had work the following day but who cared. Weekends were like pills. They killed the ennui generated by a week long work like nothing else. Even though the place we stayed was too artificial and we were away from home but still we were an even minded bunch of folks, conjoined with the feeling to celebrate and have fun.

And then it was today. I had a fucking long week. Worked for almost 14-15 hours a day and the work was no worse than a killer. Even the aspirin gave up. But there was a gleam that appeared all the time the moment i was reminded of the weekend and my supposed meeting wid Karuna. It been a while we’ve met. Been close to three weeks. Not that i am too eager or dying to but then i like to make plans and when they dont materialize i feel helpless. I for sure had parked of other requests from mi collegues for a weekend bowl. Now everythings fucked up.

I still woke up wid a horrible mood. Didnt feel like doing anything. Grabbed the morning newspaper. Well came to know it was Father’s Day today. Called up dad and wished him. And then a lil talk about this and that. Things that were trivial. The newspaper also forecasted a super hot day. It didnt seem so looking outside for there was a momentum in the air.

I dont know i killed my morning. Played my Menace and read a couple of pages of the book m reading. But sunday’s arent supposed to do that. I figured out that i am destined to rot. Slept again. This time forcibly. So that the sleep may make this time fly. Woke up to an anguish and frustration. I thought i had slept enough. The clock juss advanced by half an hour. It was noon now and it became really super hot. Damn the predictions. Everything has to be so messed up.

I didnt know what to do. But i certainly thought i wont let this build up inside of me. I wasnt meant to sulk. I wasnt able to digest these changes. Plugged my Ipod to the ear and selected the black metal playlist. The other night i was talking to Priyankar and knowing that he has to work like an ass in India’s one of the largest back i commented ” Dude i know life’s a bitch. You should either know how to fuck it or deal wid it”. Guess i better practise than preach. For at least i could amuse myself more than he can. The two hour or so of black metal play gave me a lil strength and + energy. But where do i fucking use it.

Slept again. Woke up and came out. Gazed at the lawn while the lawnman was tidying it. Played mi guitar again and read the same book. I waited for something which eventually never happened. I thought i had to wait more. I think i have that patience.

And thats how a fucked up weekend can be. And that too wid Me.

Well a perfect song from Porcupine Tree to describe these retarded feelings

I’m finding it hard to hang from a star
I don’t wanna be…Never wanna be old.
Sullen and bored I stay
And in this way wish away each day
I don’t really know
If I care what is normal
And I’m not really sure
If the pills I’ve been taking are helping
I’m wasting my life
Hurting inside
I don’t really know
And I’m not really sure…”

Posted by: Arun Pareek | June 4, 2009

A Start of Something Beautiful

The things that i am writing here arent a fancy romantic soiree that could send tear jolts down the eyes or blows to the heart. The words and writings are totally non fabricated and incongruous. However they arent meaningless. Cuz i dont write them for a poetic or prosaic fancy rather to let my fingers type from whatever signals they get from the brain while it reminisces some of the most wonderful moments spent in time.

It was something that was being anticipated for about a month. And it wasnt planned as things are supposed to. The very reason it was to happen made me feel so remarkably lucky and happy. So much so that it gave me kicks days before this was to happen. When i said Ankur about the how i wished if he could come here and meet me and Karuna off came his prompt reply ” I am coming Bhai”. And Ankur aint known for budging his words.

There are somethings that i could not wait for. And this was one of em. I canyt remember when was i this desperate last. The kicks never settled but finally the day came and with it died all the cornucopia surrounding it. We met yet again. We talked things at length and we were so happy to see each other again. We went to our favourite hangout. We sipped cold coffees and talked past. We played together and wish that we lose to one another. Ankur has always meant much more than i could describe to me.

The highlight of the visit was however yet to come. We were to meet our respective loves for a dinner in Delhi. Rinku joined Ankur and i went to pick up Karuna from her place. Well if the details of how that happened are shared I would probably get a divorce for over exaggeration. I will keep it simple. I was circling the same corners, asking every oder fella about a place that i wasnt supposed to get to and then kept waiting at a non descript place to meet her but incidentally she never came. :-)

We met however though. It was a great respite. The very look of her made all the toil vanish. I was so ecstatic to get her along and join the folks waiting. Arriving somewhere but still finding ways was now not meant to be.

The candlelight dinner that we had lighted up my entire spirits. Sitting beside her and mi best pal was more than what i could have ever dreamed of. No work of joy could define it. An extremely pounding heart was a obvious anatomical gesture. I could see her wink and i could see her smile. From the nearest distance. I could see her countenance change everytime she looked at me and everytime she listened to me. I could see the joy and love. She was by my side and she was wid me on the ride. She seemed to enjoi and she looked exuberant. She laughed more than a couple of times and i knew it wasnt false. And my day was made.

Didnt wanted to part ways wid her. Still we had to. She gave me a parting gift. I frowned. She looked detested. I accepted. When i had a look at it I was flying for a second. I am sure no amount of weeds could have done this to anyone what her token of love did to me. It was a small and sweet Lord Ganesha’s that she gave me as a sign of protection, trust, faith,love and devotion. I sweared to God and myself that I would love and care for her in the best way i could. I think I am a nice man. I have changed and i have learned to love and there is something deep down inside me that tells that she would be more than happy all through wid me. From God i ask the strength and sense to make it happen. I half slept that night. Thoughts took me to a lot of territories and to a lot of explorations. I dreamt a lot of things wid eyes wide open. It was a night i wish was a little longer. Still i wanted the day to come soon.

We met again the following day. It was a tough day for her. Still she managed to come. Still she was ready to come. Made me feel better. I had a few things up my sleeve for the day. I recorded a Wish You Were Here on my Acoustica dedicated to her. She was completely mesmerized the last time i sang that to her. I couldnt help myself from givin her a live recording. And i had also compiled a list of my all time best rock ballads. I named it Timeless Love. I was so anxious and eager to give her that.

Together the four of us were sitting at Piccadelhi, a london themed restro pub in  Cannaught Place, Delhi. It was all perfect. The food, the lights and the moods. Super fun time that i never thought would come. The past months had been a horrific nightmare. Things were changing. I shared the gifts i bought for her, we ate wid our heart out, we laughed and clicked photographs together, we talked love and affection and we could see love in each others touch. More than the words the eyes communicated. We strolled by the Central Park, sat at the coffee days, we discussed our pasts and talked irrelevant things. I still have to figure out how she tolerates me.

And we have found a linking for the places we have been to. So much so that we visited the same place again and sat on the same damn chair with same old angles. It revives the memory. The dosage of happier times in the past in present makes us feel more liberated with joy. We have a few things in common. Chocolate ice creams is one of them. She is a chocolate freak. We ordered choco chips with hol melted syrupy chocolate fudge over it. Melting moments. A walk to remember thence. If only we could have stayed more. Still its good to wait. It intensifies the passions. I could see her talk and walk and frown and wink. The conversation she was havin wid Nivi made perfect sense to me. Apart from the usual ladies talk i know what else were they takin about. Someone called me “Sweet” then. I immediately thought that Nivi muss be thinking I’ve become GAY now. That was the word we associated wid “sweet” and “cute”. And Nivi could neither believe that. When i was talkin to Nivi, she popped a question ” Arrun, Is it you Karuna is talking about!! Gosh what has happened to you?”. I know her amazement was more than justified. She knew how stereotyped i was back some time. All i did 24/7 was insults. And had a deep sense of achievements there off. I know i was a pain to many in the past. And i loved that.

Nevertheless, past is neither good nor bad. Its dead and buried. And i have always accepted this fact. I revealed to Nivi that Karuna is going to her home for a week or two. She said “Don’t tell me you are gonna miss her”. I said “I would, badly. Indeed I would”. She burst into laughter. Perhaps due to non belief or may be she never know I could be like that.

I bid Karuna goodbye. I knew we wouldn’t be meeting very soon. But i knew she is everything to me.

Apart from my usual work and the readin and guitaring I do, I had a lil more time. I thought i would write stuffs. I think what i wrote were honest connotations of my heart. Not wrapped in artistic n glittery wordsmithy. I know i am missing her. I hope we would read it sometime in future and remember the things that mattered to much to us. I hope we would smile. And love each other more. Definetely, a start of something immensely beautiful and enchanting.

Posted by: Arun Pareek | May 27, 2009

Of First Date and Silent Wonderings

I dont know what I’ve done in the near past to deserve so much happiness. All at one go. I really wish they arent ephemeral and fade away.  First the zuzaamen wid the ultimate girl that  i could meet in my life, the subsequent engagement wid her in a god knows so less time and then this first official date. A weekend spent in self created anxiety and exuberance, the fragrance of a fresh relationship in bloom, the silent looking at the eyes and then the conscious wink, the desperation to spend all the time together and the soulful wish that Time stay wherever it is. The days that we were together was worth all the goofing up over the phone, waiting at the stations, braving the heat and takin the toil. And i would remember how shez shocked and surprised me at various moments. And how had i irritated her to make mirth. How i wanted to be so with her and how badly i wanted her to smile all the way. And how glad i felt to be a part of her. And how glad i was about my existence. Every fuckin hour. Every wakin moment. She is real. I can feel her.

And the first date got over. And the week went away as if it was made of a few dayz only. The wait and the anticipation was killing but still time flied in a jiffy. There were so much expressions expressed, so much things heard and said and so much happenning. Came again the second First date. Saw another side of her. And i loved her more. Canyt explain how am i holding myslef from sayin those Magic words to her. Let Time come. And a proper place and proper moment. This time she looked merrier,happier and more out of her usual shy skin. She was there as a more lively entity.

As if to make things more colorful the Weather God was at his pleasant best. The mild paws of summer winds were kindda in the right place at the right time. Didn’t expected a better milieu for the date. The hustle of urban wingers arms in arms, the lights from halogens on busy pathways, the eat out places and the ice cream parlours that have witnessed countless love stories in the making and new things happen, a couple of round walks to remember and the subsequent rounds at my favourite hangout. I had it all i can say. Such a perfect weekend. Once again.

And when i was sayin goodye i didnt at all felt bad. There was more coming. Patience and wait pays. I have learnt it in past. I have always waited for things. I was so remembering all thats happenned. It was midnight while i was on my way back. The bike ride at 90 kmph and the gush of air sealed an ending to a perfect day. The food was out of the world and so were the feelings. I slept a content soul. All of my dreams, and all my heart were filled wid memories that i canyt forget at all.

And now i am waiting for the ultimate union with my best buddy, her soulmate and wid the love of mine. This week however the wait seems much longer. I shall wait.

Posted by: Arun Pareek | May 19, 2009

Mon Amigo

I don’t walk alone
As you may tend to think
I have with me

Mon Amigo/ My better Half / My significant other
You!

Your cold finger/ Touches me
Some where deep down,
Taming the fire/ The Anger

Your cold breath/ Numbs my mind
Soothes me, curbs me
My passion/ My expectation.

Your cold lips/ Chill me, my sore heart
And subdue all emotions.

And when the words fail me
And my mouth gets dry
And my voice gets croaky
To save me comes always my savior
“You”

And then I say nothing/ For you say it all
I don’t walk alone
You walk by my side
Starting the train/ I follow
Filling the gaps/ I leave
Ending stories/ I start

You and me and you/ And me and you
Its just “us” together
“Us” just
“Us”

Posted by: Arun Pareek | May 13, 2009

The 100 Greatest Jazz Albums of All Time

Here is a list compiled by Amazon recently. Too wonderful to have it here on my Blog.

The 100 Greatest Jazz Albums of All Time

The Shape Of Jazz To Come
A Love Supreme
Bird And Diz
Kind Of Blue
Ella and Louis
Getz/Gilberto
Concert By The Sea
The Black Saint And The Sinner Lady
Speak No Evil
Straight, No Chaser
The Köln Concert
Moanin' (The Rudy Van Gelder Edition)
Chet Baker Sings
Blue Train (Rudy Van Gelder Edition)
Out To Lunch (The Rudy Van Gelder Edition)
Piano Starts Here
Go! (The Rudy Van Gelder Edition)
Count Basie At Newport
1.  The Shape Of Jazz To Come by Ornette Coleman
2.  A Love Supreme by John Coltrane
3.  Bird And Diz by Dizzy Gillespie
4.  Kind Of Blue by Miles Davis
5.  Ella and Louis by Ella Fitzgerald
6.  Getz/Gilberto by João Gilberto
7.  Concert By The Sea by Erroll Garner
8.  The Black Saint And The Sinner Lady by Charles Mingus
9.  Speak No Evil by Wayne Shorter
10.  Straight, No Chaser by Thelonious Monk
11.  The Köln Concert by Keith Jarrett
12.  Moanin’ (The Rudy Van Gelder Edi… by Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers
13.  Chet Baker Sings by Chet Baker
14.  Blue Train (Rudy Van Gelder Edit… by John Coltrane
15.  Out To Lunch (The Rudy Van Gelde… by Eric Dolphy
16.  Piano Starts Here by Art Tatum
17.  Go! (The Rudy Van Gelder Edition) by Dexter Gordon
18.  Count Basie At Newport by Count Basie
19.  Journey in Satchidananda by Alice Coltrane
20.  Time Out by The Dave Brubeck Quartet
21.  Everybody Digs Bill Evans [Keepn… by Bill Evans
22.  Duke Ellington & John Coltrane by Duke Ellington
23.  Naked City by John Zorn
24.  Louis Armstrong Plays W. C. Handy by Louis Armstrong And His All-Stars
25.  At Carnegie Hall by Thelonious Monk Quartet With Joh…
26.  Clifford Brown And Max Roach by Max Roach
27.  Afro by Dizzy Gillespie
28.  Sketches Of Spain by Miles Davis
29.  Karma by Pharoah Sanders
30.  Straight Ahead by Abbey Lincoln
31.  Charlie Parker With Strings: Com… by Charlie Parker
32.  Somethin’ Else (Rudy Van Gelder … by Cannonball Adderley
33.  Lady in Satin by Billie Holiday
34.  Body & Soul by Coleman Hawkins
35.  A Night in Tunisia (The Rudy Van… by Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers
36.  Afternoon In Paris by Stephane Grappelli
37.  Compulsion by Andrew Hill
38.  Monk’S Dream by Thelonious Monk Quartet
39.  Suspicious Activity? by The Bad Plus
40.  Bitches Brew by Miles Davis
41.  Takin’ Off (Rudy Van Gelder Edit… by Herbie Hancock
42.  The Famous Carnegie Hall Jazz Co… by Benny Goodman
43.  Oscar Peterson Trio At The Strat… by The Oscar Peterson Trio
44.  The Sidewinder (The Rudy Van Gel… by Lee Morgan
45.  The Great Summit – The Master Tapes by Duke Ellington & Louis Armstrong
46.  Gershwin Plays Rhapsody In Blue by George Gershwin
47.  Idle Moments by Grant Green
48.  Secrets of the Sun (1962) (Ocrd) by Sun Ra & His Solar Myth Arkestra
49.  Mythologies by Patricia Barber
50.  Charles Mingus Presents Charles … by Charles Mingus
51.  Such Sweet Thunder by Duke Ellington
52.  The Great American Songbook by Carmen McRae
53.  Once Upon A Summertime by Blossom Dearie
54.  Unit Structures by Cecil Taylor
55.  Hamp & Getz by Lionel Hampton
56.  Nancy Wilson/Cannonball Adderley by Nancy Wilson And Cannonball Adde…
57.  Song Of Innocence by David Axelrod
58.  Heavy Weather by Weather Report
59.  Slug’s Saloon (disc 1) by Albert Ayler
60.  Trio Jeepy by Branford Marsalis
61.  We Free Kings by Roland Kirk
62.  Travelin’ Light by Shirley Horn
63.  A Night At The Village Vanguard … by Sonny Rollins
64.  Live In Paris by Diana Krall
65.  Clifford Brown With Strings by Clifford Brown
66.  Bags & Trane by Milt Jackson & John Coltrane
67.  Midnight Blue (The Rudy Van Geld… by Kenny Burrell
68.  Don’t Go To Strangers by Etta Jones
69.  Ellis In Wonderland by Herb Ellis
70.  Jazz Impressions Of Black Orpheus by Vince Guaraldi Trio
71.  Blue Rose by Duke Ellington & His Orchestra R…
72.  Art Pepper Meets The Rhythm Section by Art Pepper
73.  Helen Merill by Helen Merrill
74.  The Blues and the Abstract Truth by Oliver Nelson
75.  School Days by Stanley Clarke
76.  Elegiac Cycle by Brad Mehldau
77.  Wish by Joshua Redman
78.  Artist In Residence by Jason Moran
79.  Ahmad’s Blues by Ahmad Jamal
80.  Sax Pax For A Sax by Moondog
81.  Black Codes (From The Underground) by Wynton Marsalis
82.  The Right Touch by Duke Pearson
83.  The Astrud Gilberto Album by Astrud Gilberto
84.  Return To Forever by Chick Corea
85.  Blues Dream by Bill Frisell
86.  One Night Stand – The Town Hall … by Sarah Vaughn & Lester Young
87.  Whipped Cream & Other Delights by Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass
88.  Full Force by Art Ensemble Of Chicago
89.  Bela Fleck and the Flecktones by Bela Fleck & The Flecktones
90.  Mood Indigo by Jimmy Scott
91.  Elis & Tom by Elis Regina
92.  Offramp by Pat Metheny Group
93.  Stan Getz And The Oscar Peterson… by Stan Getz
94.  Husky by Skerik’s Syncopated Taint Septet
95.  Come Play With Me by Cuong Vu
96.  Five Compositions (quartet) – 1986 by Anthony Braxton
97.  Careless Love by Madeleine Peyroux
98.  Jaco Pastorius by Jaco Pastorius
99.  M’Boom by Max Roach
100.  In My Element by Robert Glasper

Featured Artists

Ornette Coleman
John Coltrane
Dizzy Gillespie
Miles Davis
Ella Fitzgerald
João Gilberto
Erroll Garner
Charles Mingus
Wayne Shorter
Thelonious Monk
Keith Jarrett
Art Blakey & The Jazz Messengers
Chet Baker
John Coltrane
Eric Dolphy
Art Tatum
Dexter Gordon
Count Basie
Alice Coltrane
The Dave Brubeck Quartet
Bill Evans
Lee Morgan
1.  Ornette Coleman
2.  John Coltrane
3.  Dizzy Gillespie
4.  Miles Davis
5.  Ella Fitzgerald
6.  João Gilberto
7.  Erroll Garner
8.  Charles Mingus
9.  Wayne Shorter
10.  Thelonious Monk
11.  Keith Jarrett
12.  Art Blakey & The …
13.  Chet Baker
14.  John Coltrane
15.  Eric Dolphy
16.  Art Tatum
17.  Dexter Gordon
18.  Count Basie
19.  Alice Coltrane
20.  The Dave Brubeck …
21.  Bill Evans
22.  Duke Ellington
23.  John Zorn
24.  Louis Armstrong A…
25.  Thelonious Monk Q…
26.  Max Roach
27.  Dizzy Gillespie
28.  Miles Davis
29.  Pharoah Sanders
30.  Abbey Lincoln
31.  Charlie Parker
32.  Cannonball Adderley
33.  Billie Holiday
34.  Coleman Hawkins
35.  Art Blakey & The …
36.  Stephane Grappelli
37.  Andrew Hill
38.  Thelonious Monk Q…
39.  The Bad Plus
40.  Miles Davis
41.  Herbie Hancock
42.  Benny Goodman
43.  The Oscar Peterso…
44.  Lee Morgan
45.  Duke Ellington & …
46.  George Gershwin
47.  Grant Green
48.  Sun Ra
49.  Patricia Barber
50.  Charles Mingus
51.  Duke Ellington
52.  Carmen McRae
53.  Blossom Dearie
54.  Cecil Taylor
55.  Lionel Hampton
56.  Nancy Wilson And …
57.  David Axelrod
58.  Weather Report
59.  Albert Ayler
60.  Branford Marsalis
61.  Roland Kirk
62.  Shirley Horn
63.  Sonny Rollins
64.  Diana Krall
65.  Clifford Brown
66.  Milt Jackson & Jo…
67.  Kenny Burrell
68.  Etta Jones
69.  Herb Ellis
70.  Vince Guaraldi Trio
71.  Rosemary Clooney,…
72.  Art Pepper
73.  Helen Merrill
74.  Oliver Nelson
75.  Stanley Clarke
76.  Brad Mehldau
77.  Joshua Redman
78.  Jason Moran
79.  Ahmad Jamal
80.  Moondog
81.  Wynton Marsalis
82.  Duke Pearson
83.  Astrud Gilberto
84.  Chick Corea
85.  Bill Frisell
86.  Sarah Vaughn & Le…
87.  Herb Alpert & The…
88.  Art Ensemble Of C…
89.  Bela Fleck & The …
90.  Jimmy Scott
91.  Elis Regina
92.  Pat Metheny Group
93.  Stan Getz
94.  Skerik’s Syncopat…
95.  Cuong Vu
96.  Anthony Braxton
97.  Madeleine Peyroux
98.  Jaco Pastorius
99.  Max Roach
100.  Robert Glasper
Posted by: Arun Pareek | May 11, 2009

A Lost Friend

I dont remember when i last cried. I remember i wrote and said this thin a week back. But things arent the same as now. I now say ” Yea i Cried a couple of dayz back”. What made me do that is apparently a reason I would find extremely difficult to disclose in public writing.

Nevertheless the very incident propelled me to write a couple of lines. Someone, somewhere has lost a very dear one. Written on behalf of a great childhood friend whoz gone through too fucking much. Hope these lines can mean wht you went through and muss be feeling.

A Lost Friend

The table phone buzzers alarmingly
Yet with a melodious euphony
As if carrying an excitement within,
Running down through narrow streams
And in the way toppling
Whatever comes in between!
Picking it up to receive
Evening calls from my friend
Speak I first always to greet her
And a serene voice continues thence
“Sanju, look through your window at the sky,
Towards the shimmering luminance high
There you’ll find one traveler alone
Who with its magnificence
Has the whole night shone!
As she sings praises in reference to the moon
I wish she would be joining me soon
As we lay late for the evening zuzamen
At the land of city lights.

“Knock”, says the doors in vibration
Loud impatient and a bounding voice follows
“Open up you lazy soul”
And each time she arrives
She has some surprises to give
Comes in she with a winning smile
As if returned from a war won
Quickly juggling and unfolding some paper
She prepares a verbal assault.
Unable to hold back
Cuz I know if she starts
I’ll never get a chance to speak
I say “What’s all crap is it”
Raising her sideward brow she darts
“Thou impregnable, mortal fool,
I wish you had in yourself
The soul of an artist
To admire the artworks of greats”
While gasping I wished………
Well, let it be unknown.

Hitting me softly neath my ears
Shaking them deep with a flush of air
Directing me to listen carefully
While she reads it all aloud
A fresh, newly composed ode to the moon
Fancying her literary fame
As she rhymes ‘bright’ with ‘light’
And ‘radiance’ with ‘brilliance’.
And in between tweaking her falling hair
Taking airs of a genius designer.
And the with some sudden vicissitudes
Boiling furious at my invalid gestures
Of no appreciations
Trampling her feet, she leaves
In hurried slowness
As if knowing I would call
And yea….even I ain’t fail
Cuz I then speak out
In tones of forceful appreciation
“Wonderful couplets dear, thou are really gifted,
No better words to describe It better,
But speak a little slow
For if the moon hears et all
It’ll want to marry you
And keep you with him forever”.
Laughingly she returns
Out comes the paper once again.
And I understand
While this time she recites
I babble words of praises
To avoid the repetitions once again……
Aha!! What a surprise.
She’s even now given me a surprise
A terrible shock of my life
But no more does she comes
While the doors lay barren and still….

Underneath the common terrace sat
The best of two friends
Gazing at what she liked the most
Moon!! Yea Moon
Moon was what she loved the most
And always longed to be on it
Involving me in her childish fancies
Exploring secret chests on its surface
“Out we’ll have our vacations Sanju,
No work of silence,
No wretch of diseased will forbear
A place secure which surely stood
Devoid of toil and toll”
But now, all m left with are
Soft eyes
In which memories are washed down by tears
Of starry nights
And she’s at last turned mean
Really very mean
Breaking vows of a sacred friendship
She’s indeed gone for a long vacation
A long vacation……
But sans me, as promised
Complaints I have lots against her
For bereaving me like this
Leaving me all alone here!
All alone she goes atop the moon
And then slips like a lifeless feather
Down, down down!!!
She falls from there
Crashing she comes on the ground
Frozen and Cold
Mute and Speechless
Unmoved and Innate
Yes, she’z resting in silence
But, o’ had you taken me along with
I would never’ve let thou fall
Would never’ve let you fall like this!!!!

Words slay me now softly
All incongruently
Images move with lightning leaps
Semi-blurred!
I remember once she replied
When I asked her
“What’s death for you dear?”
Piercing me with a modest look
And an incessant smile
And she replied
“Death is a day without you Sanju
When my life would be a mere existence
And beyond which I don’t wish to look”

What remains even of me now
Ain’t even I promised of an assistantship?
Togetherness!!
While its time for me to act
I cry and weep
Remorse fills me from deep within
As I don’t see her at this parting time,
Laying a slave to distance n separation.
A stifling feeling as that of suicide.

No shadows, no regret
Of years gone in between
No passing trees of distress
No birch trees bare and lean.
Where can she be this fleeting bird
Lying between sky and plane
By what price or fare
Can this bird be attained?

But where is she?
Can she be lie?
Deep within this soul self
I can hear her blended spirit cry.
Where, what, why I cannot see
I cannot hear myself
I know, I shout, I scream, I gasp
I feel my soul in retreat
All that remains with me is
A deep faith!!!!
A blind faith of her return.

Posted by: Arun Pareek | May 10, 2009

100 Truths

100 Truths

1. Last beverage? Lavazza Ginger Fizz
2. Last phone call? Karuna Sharma
3. Last text message? Karuna Sharma
4. Last song you listened to? Awaiting the Vultures- Karl Sanders
5. Last time you cried? Er…. a few days back!

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
1.Blue
2.Grey.
3.Black.

SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
1. Dated someone twice? No
2. Been cheated on? No
3. Kissed someone & regretted it? Yes.Ravi :x :-P
4. Lost someone special? Not really.
5. Been depressed? Yeah.I am very Em0 these days
6. Been drunk and threw up? Neva!

HAVE YOU:
7. Made new friends ? Yes
8. Fallen out of love? No
9. Laughed until you cried? Yes!:D
10. Met someone who changed you? I think now. Yeah
11. Found out who your true friends were? Yeah.
12. Found out someone was talking about you? Yeah :D
13 Kissed anyone on your friend’s list? No
14 How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? Most of them
15 How many kids do you want to have? 2
16. Do you have any pets ? No.I juss want a whole army of dawgs
17. Do you want to change your name? May be.I guess not :/
18. What did you do for your last birthday? Was in Hyderabad. :D
19. What time did you wake up today? 7:44am
20. What were you doing at midnight last night? Talking over Phone (Again!)
21. Name something you CANNOT wait for? Get done with my MBA. :|
22. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Get out of Gurgaon for a start! :/
23. What are you listening to right now? Losing My Religion- R.E.M
24. Most visited webpage? Facebook/WordPress/Whorekut/Gmail
25. What’s your name? Ajay Devgan
26. Nicknames? Aju,Devu,Gaysaala
27. Relationship Status? Committed
28. Zodiac sign? Libra
29. Male or female or transgendered? Male :|
30. Elementary? Dreamland Childrens’s Corner
31. Middle School? Pearls of God
32. High school? St.Thomas’ School
33. Hair color? Black/ Brown
34. Long or short? Short
35. Height? 5′11
36. Do you have a crush on someone?  Yes.Scarlett Johansson  *blush*
37: What do you like about yourself? Everything.I am such a Narcissist
38. Piercings? No :|
39. Tattoos? No
40. Righty or lefty? Righty

FIRSTS :
41. First surgery? Never had 1/Had a dental one some 6 years back
42. First piercing? Never
43. First best friends? Kindergarten.I am still in touch with them :D
44. First sport you joined? Football
45. First pet ? Never had one:(
46. First vacation? NIT Jalandhar 4 Year Long- Since July 2003
47. First concert? First International concert – Pink Floyd in Mumbai
48. First crush? Don’t remember :/

RIGHT NOW:
49. Eating? Nothing
50. Drinking? Nothing ..but i would like some chilled Water
52. I’m about to? Answer the rest of the questions
53. Listening to? Starts Die- Porcupine Trees
55. Waiting for? An All friends Meeting on 30th

YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids? YES!
59. Want to get married? Probably Yes
60. Careers in mind? Work for a good 10 years and then do nothing :D

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
68. Lips or eyes? Both
69. Hugs or kisses? Both
70. Shorter or taller? Taller:|
71. Older or Younger? Younger/Around my age
72. Romantic or spontaneous? Romantic
73. Nice stomach or nice arms? Both?! ..please:)
74. Sensitive or loud- Either
75. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship
77. Trouble maker or hesistant? Trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger? Nope
80. Lost glasses/contacts? Many a Times!
81. Sex on first date? No
82. Broken someone’s heart? Maybe
83. Had your own heart broken? Maybe
85. Been arrested? Once
86. Turned someone down? Yes/Maybe
87. Cried when someone died? Yup.
88. Liked a friend that is a guy? ? Maybe :D . Ofcourse NOT

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself? Yes!
90. Miracles? No
91. Love at first sight? Yes
92. Heaven? No
93. Santa Clause? No
95. Kiss on the first date? ? No
96. Angels? No

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes :(
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? No
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Yes

Posted by: Arun Pareek | May 4, 2009

10 Things About Me

My name is Arun. My full name is Genghis Khan.

No, I am not the same person who appears in a blog called Arrogant Existence | Make Music not War |

I do not write humour stories on people. I do not write any stories on anyone for that matter. All stories are verified by the police.

I think writing a blog is a silly waste of time. Of course, I agree, if you didn’t waste your time, what else would you do with it?

I believe there are two kinds of people in the world: those who blog and those who do not have an internet connection.

I love the words leverage, synchronization, paradigm shift and holistic. Best of all, I love synergistic. I carry a picture of it in my wallet.

If I write random things about myself on Facebook it’s because I wish to know more about myself and not about you. If you wish to know more about yourself, you write random things about yourself. And if I tag you it’s not because I wish to know more about you, it’s because you owe me money.

One recent story on this Arrogant Existence’s Blog says that I, Arun, took to Highways on Autumn Nights  with my girl friend. Now as far as I and all my friends  know I do not have any girl friend. And I didnt had a bike when it was Autumn; I had a biclycle then. Bicylces arent allowed on highways. And i hate talking over the phone. And i do not philosophize as well. Autumn Conversations were a result of schizo affected disorder with bi polar tendencies causing me to hallucinate and come up with a goofed up writing.

On this same blog I came across a story saying, ‘Music Sex Cricket Sensex’. I would like to clarify that, by and large, I for the matter has no connection and interest in Sensex. I love technology. And i never has sex. I juss wanted to be humourous and connect things together like what i am pretending to be now. Oil prices are under control. And there was no middle eastern conspiracy against the developed and third world. The author was nuts when he was writing all that. I hope this clarifies everything.

People say I have two left feet. Rubbish. I do not have two left feet and I can dance very well, salsa or jive, thank you. I admit I have two left brains, though, so one half of my head is vacant.

Posted by: Arun Pareek | May 4, 2009

Elements – An Ode to the Winds

Aye, the moist north winds!
You change your course again
To fan and befriend nu shores
Territories unexplored.
And in the swiftness of your grace
Forgetting the long, strong
Seasonal presence on the plains,
You move to barren mountains
Devoid of laboring, toiling men
Their faithful wife and children
All who plead heavily in unison
Ask you to return,
Simply all in vain!
[You’ve your own reasons]

Says then the wind in solemn strain
“Aye the mortals of the plain
I’m most remarkably overwhelmed
By sweet hymns of yours
Songs of love, compassion and labor
Verves of toil and valor.
But dear ones, don’t complain
For I leave for your own good
To fetch you
Fresh fragrance from altitude
And the sweet breath of pines
Morning dew from
Birch trees bare and lean!
For I leave to live
As change is life
Bondage a certain death.
Ye’ll can feel me, play me
Grow papery wings by my name
And I shall make you fly,
On my return.
I’ll be the mint in your breath
Carry the pulses of heart
To and fro
From your woman
Kiss her cheeks,
Say her your messages
Left undelivered in random pages.
And to your children
Playing in golden fields
I shall sing hymns and carols
Lesson them in virtues
Of mind, body and soul.
To your ailing parents
I shall give them hope
Strengths of the old
Vive and vitality,
Reasons to live!
Sweet memoirs of retrospect
Your genteel gestures of respect,
Soothe their tired self
And make them feel younger again!”

From dawn till dusk
Through the entire evening,
Lengthy night to morning
I kept on thinking
Man is but all elements in one
So won’t we have traits in common?
And in ways the same
As the wind seeks freedom,
As the wind beckons wings,
Changes for change,
My unstable mind too yearns
To break the holding chains
Grounding earthly pains
From relationships and expectations,
A life of partial inaction
That makes me itinerant,
Following a single code,
Day on day
Everyday!

And the mind’s become impotent
Incapable of thoughts
Devoid of any imagination!
And like you, the north wind
Let me too unwind
Push myself from rewind
Uncage the long suppressed
The moments depressed
Often wishes to fly high
And race through the nautical miles
Way ahead,
Like the breeze itself!

“Oi winds!”
What are you made up of?
What shape do you take?
What colors fill you?
And don’t you have dependents,
A home, friends and companions?
Someone to hold on to,
A pretty wife?
Naughty children?
That keeps you stagnant.
Secret knots,
To tie you to a place.
Or do you run away for seclusion.
Impulsively owned!
To hide latent grieves alone
Someplace unknown!
And bring back on your course again
Torrents of tears for us,
Those harnessed in singledom.

North winds!
All you know is just giving
A selfless desire to fulfill
Mortal, temporal, increasing,
And ephemeral desires of men.
That knows no end!
And you north winds,
You expect nothing in return.
North waves!
Teach me these virtues too
Lesson me in these arts
That you’ve magnificently mastered.
Let me too reproduce
And act in similar ways as you do!
Replies the wind in parting tone
“O dear, you talk different
Sound unusual!
But you talk perfect sense
So I’m pleased to share
Little secrets of happiness
I’ve inherited from fellow elements
To make these plains
A place to live and survive!
And its always best to give
Like those that have little
Yet they give it all.
Give with joy
And joy shall be your reward.
Give when asked,
More better
Give unasked
Through understanding
Cuz all that you’ve
Shall some day be given.
Give with open arms
And unblinded open eyes.
Give without regret,
And expectations of
More return!

And so the wind left
Marooning the plains
In quest for a change
The subliminal truth
Adventures and pleasure,
New found desires.
And in between
Teaching me the virtues
Of selfless giving
A happy living
Leaving me wondering
About
Life’s new code,
A new course,
A new path,
And a new beginning!

Posted by: Arun Pareek | April 30, 2009

Fall Pt. I

The brightest star of the fortune
Shatters in an unending Universe
Scattering turmoil in the orb
Thrusted with enormous plight
And dispersing all that it had …

And as it descends down with ignited light
Speeding down through the burning friction
Whose fate is still unknown?
Whose end is too near…..

But there are some people on this planet
Whose heart this star fills with delight
While no living constellation can give them more joys
They say silent prayers at this sight

Isn’t it a crude incongruity of the Nature
That some pray at other’s fall
And if these prayers do come true
Then my Lord, let me be that unfortunate star..

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